I am a fucking mess

I am fucking tired of myself, of my failures and of my inability to be honest with myself. I can't stand it any more. I drive myself insane each and every day and night. Stupid promises and false pretences. Unjustified self-esteem and desire to be more than I already am. What I really need is someone to show me how much of an idiot I am, to prove me wrong and to make me see my foolishness. I am fake and there is no denying it. I am fucked up and there is no changing it.