For a long while I've been trying to come up with an idea for a new post. I've been wanting to reflect upon the change that I have undergone over the past few years or, as always, complain about my inability to achieve my "ultimate goal" or simply pour out my worries, concerns and problems. I've tried but I failed to, firstly, find the time because there is just too little of it (though I should not be saying that. If I believe that there are enough hours in the day, then I'll be able to do everything that needs to be done, but this is off the topic) and, secondly, for a long while I didn't have any motivation to do anything but work (though I still think that I don't work hard enough and long enough and this again is off the topic). However, tonight is different. Without doubt I am tired, simply exhausted but I saw something that inspired me.
San Francisco, Golden Gates Bridge. You may know that I love this bridge. Without a particular reason I find it fascinating, as fascinating as the so-called "American dream". In the past few weeks I've had several discussions about the dream of today's youth and I've realized that to an extent it is my dream as well. Though this wasn't what struck me the most in the above photograph. The peace and tranquility of the gentle mist and the soft colours made me realize that at this moment I need some time to reflect. Letely I've been so busy that I've had barely any time to actually think about what is best for me. I am unbelievably confused, extremely dissatisfied and utterly exhausted. I am not asking for time off, I'm asking for time to think.
Maybe, some time soon, I'll explain my moral dilemmas. I might even solve a couple of them but it's impossible to know when. It's hard to make decisions but it's a crucial skill and I need to learn it and learn it fast.
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I don't know why I wanted to use T.S. Eliot's "Waste Land" but it simply seemed so lyrical and right. I really am starting to appreciate poetry.
