I regret not taking the opportunity to get away from this reality. I regret taking up all the things that I have taken up. I regret being so weak and powerless. 

I simply need to leave this place. I need to forget even just for a split second all the stress and frustration. But hell no. I had to choose to stay here. Maybe some day I'll see what good this will do to me, however at the moment there is only hopelessness and discontentment. 

None of us can get it all in life and this is finally starting to kick in. Sad times, what else can I say?